“Hello, androgynous narrator?” Harvey said, standing in the middle of a field on the Mornington Peninsula. “Are you there?”
The narrator was indeed surprised to discover that Harvey was talking to them. They told Harvey that they were, in fact, there.
“Who are you?” asked Harvey. “Why are you narrating my life, and why do you want me to have a rivalry with every house builder based around Mornington?”
Still quite shocked that Harvey had actually attempted to speak with them, the narrator took a moment to think through these questions. Would it be safe to let Harvey know the very nature of his existence? Surely to do so would be breaking several rules of storytelling – the fourth wall would undoubtedly be broken, and perhaps even the fifth one too.
Eventually, the narrator decided that they might as well try it. What was the worst that could happen? It might be fun to let one of the characters know the truth. They explained that Harvey was nothing more than a character in a story they were writing at that very moment. Part of the narrator’s job was to write short stories to go on the internet for reasons they were not allowed to disclose, as doing so would defeat the entire purpose.
“I’m… a fictional character?” Harvey said, bewildered at the thought. Perhaps this was simply a bad dream. “If I’m just a character, why am I jealous of all the new home builders near the Mornington Peninsula? It doesn’t make sense, given that my business is in beach shacks.”
The narrator told Harvey that he was actually supposed to be a luxury house builder until the narrator’s bosses told them that it simply wasn’t permitted. The main character was not allowed to have the job the story was actually focused on, causing a bit of a problem. As a result, Harvey’s job was changed to a beach shack renter.
Harvey collapsed onto the grass, rubbing his head. This was all simply too much to take. And yet, he had dozens of other questions for this mysterious narrator who was, apparently, just doing their job.