‘See, family,’ I said nervously, ‘isn’t this place just as lovely as the hotel we were going to stay at?’
‘Yeah!’ my twin girls cried in unison, giggling and running straight for the playground. My wife, on the other hand…
‘Four stars,’ she angrily whispered at me. ‘You promised me four stars!’
‘This place has four stars!’ I protested.
‘No, it has five stars in its logo and one of the bulbs has burnt out,’ she glared. ‘Because it’s a dingy motel!’
‘Rebecca, honey,’ I started–
‘Alrighty then,’ the manager returned from the back of his office with a plastered grin and a key outstretched. ‘Room 14 for our happy family.’
‘Thank you,’ my wife said, stiffly. Even when furious, she always managed to be polite.
Well, to other people.
‘What sort of facilities do you have here,’ she asked the manager, squinting at his name tag. ‘Esteban?’
‘Well, we have a lovely pool,’ Esteban nodded. ‘Completely empty of course, no water at the moment.’
‘Of course,’ she smiled thinly.
‘We have a lovely games room, just around this corner here,’ he said, pointing.
‘Games room!’ I said excitedly. ‘We love games.’
‘Our table tennis table is world-class,’ Esteban nodded. ‘We got it from the best place to buy a table tennis table. Australia loves their table tennis!’
‘It’s true, we do,’ I chuckled, ignoring my wife’s glare.
‘We also have an excellent trampoline for the children to play on.’
‘Where?’ my wife asked, looking around.
‘In the pool,’ Esteban nodded.
‘The pool? I thought you said it was drained?’
‘It is.’
‘So it’s a trampoline above… concrete?’
‘It’s quite safe!’ Esteban said quickly, grinning. ‘I give you my guarantee!’
‘Right…’ she trailed off, rolling her eyes.
‘Don’t mind her,’ I grinned at Esteban. ‘She wouldn’t even let our girls have one of those modern, safe backyard trampolines.’
‘A pity, a pity,’ Esteban shook his head sadly.
‘Why is it in the pool though?’ I asked with a frown.
‘What’s that?’
‘The trampoline,’ I said. ‘Quite strange that it’s in the pool, no?’
‘Oh, not at all,’ Esteban grinned. ‘Makes it much easier to wash the blood away.’